When Destiny Calls
by tasha8694
Summary: Sam has feelings of rage and hate and he refuses to tell Dean for fear of scaring him or worse. Sam doesn't know how much longer he can keep everything a secret when he starts being tormented by the Yellow-eyed Demon.
1. Prologue

**This is my first fan fiction, hope you enjoy it!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except the plot of the story. All characters belong to the creators of Supernatural.**

**Warning: This is an AU which occurs after "Born Under a Bad Sign" episode 2.14 of Supernatural.**

_Italic - thoughts_, **Bold - author notes**

--

**Prologue:**

Sam was asleep when his dreams suddenly changed. He's suddenly terrorized by a set of yellow eyes. He tries to ignore the dreams thinking they'll go away, but the dreams get worse and worse each night till all he sees every time he closes his eyes is the Yellow-eyed Demon. He refuses to tell Dean knowing he already has so much to think about due to the whole thing with Meg.

Sam is starting to cope with the dreams when suddenly they change again. He starts to hear the YED's voice. He tells him things. He says he knows how much Sam truly liked being possessed by Meg. He knows how what he said to Dean when Meg was possessing him was all true. He does have feelings of rage and hate. He knows how Sam fights it every day and that Sam's going to have to do something soon. He claims he can help, that he can train Sam to use the emotions he's feeling. Sam always wakes up before he can answer and is glad to never know what his subconscious would answer. What he knows he would say if asked the question.

Sam still keeps his mouth shut about the dreams and they soon subside, but the feelings don't. He's worried he'll hurt someone soon, or worse, Dean will find out about them and get mad for Sam not telling him what he said before was all true.

--

**Let me know if I should continue! )**


	2. Changed Characteristics

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except the plot of the story. All characters belong to the creators of Supernatural.**

**Also I made a book cover for this story so if you wanna look at it just head over to my profile :)**

_Italic - thoughts_, **Bold - author notes**

--

**Chapter 1: Changed Characteristics**

Sam had just come back from working a case that day and was extremely happy to get to sleep. It wasn't long 'till his dreams suddenly changed and he was once again dreaming of the Yellow-eyed Demon. He soon wakes up in the middle of the night and doesn't understand why the dreams are starting again. It's been weeks since they stopped. He's not tired enough to go back to sleep so he gets dressed and goes for a walk. Along his walk he sees a park and goes wandering through it. As Sam walks he's approached by a man, with yellow eyes...

"You," Sam says through gritted teeth.

"Sam, I'm flattered you remember me." Yellow-eyes replies smugly.

"How could I forget?"

"Ah, yes the dreams."

"Wait, how do you know about-"

Yellow-eyes holds his hand up, "Sam, why do you think you would be dreaming about me?

"You did it."

"Smarter than I gave you credit for, now have you thought about what I've been telling you?"

"No." Sam lies.

"Well I'm not sure that's entirely true."

"And how would you know?"

"Sam I know a lot of things. Just think about what I've said," and with that, Yellow-eyes walks away fading in the darkness.

Sam is shocked but as soon as he realizes he has legs that move he runs after Yellow-eyes. He searches, but finds no trace of him. Sam hates that he hadn't guessed it was Yellow-eyes behind the dreams. _Why didn't I put the two together? _What he really hates is the answer to the question Yellow-eyes keeps asking. He also knows he has to stop having the dreams.

--

Sam's just reached the hotel parking lot when his phone rings.

"Sam?"

"Dean?"

"Sam where are you?"

"I'm in the parking lot. Look out the window you idiot."

Sam sees the curtain move in their room and then hears Dean talk again, "Oh."

"Bye, Dean." Sam says laughing as he hangs up the phone.

When Sam walks into the room he can't help but take the bait. "So, worried I might have snuck off again?"

"That's not funny Sam." Dean says angrily.

Sam smiles, "Aw come on; it's a little funny."

"Where were you anyway?"

Sam stops smiling, "I was at the park."

"What park?"

"The one a few blocks away."

"Why were you there?"

"I woke up early and...got a coffee."

"At the park?" Dean says suspiciously.

"What?"

"Whatever dude. Just leave a note next time."

"Yes mother, hey any more news on the case?"

"I just woke up. Do you think I've had time?"

"Fine, I'll go get some food."

"No, wait, you shower and I'll go get food." Dean says with alarm in his voice.

Sam rolled his eyes, "Whatever."

--

That night Sam dreams a re-enactment of his meeting with Yellow-eyes. This time however instead of asking Sam to think about what he's said he asks him if he'd like to be trained. Again Sam wakes up before he sees his own answer. Sam looks at the clock and sees it is four in the morning again. _Same time as the last time, this has got to stop. _Sam gets up and showers. By the time he's done it's still only five in the morning. He decides since he didn't get much sleep he needs to coffee up. Worried Dean will freak out again he leaves him a note saying he went to get coffee.

Sam walks to the nearest coffee place and gets a coffee. Then and starts to walk back to the hotel. No matter how much he thinks about it he can't understand what the point of asking Sam if he wanted to be trained through his dreams meant. _What was the point? Did the others like him have the same dreams? What were the Yellow-eyed Demon's true plans for everyone like him anyway?_

When he returns to the hotel room it's already six o'clock. _How did it take me so long to get coffee?_ But he has no time to ponder the question when suddenly Dean ducks his head out of the bathroom.

"When'd you get up?"

"Early."

"What'd you do, have a nightmare?"

Sam laughs uneasily, "Yeah actually, I dreamt you confessed your love for me."

Dean pauses and looks confused then suddenly he gets it, "Shut up." He says and pulls his head back inside the bathroom.

Sam laughs and opens his computer to try and focus on the case.

--

That night they had to leave after solving the case. Sam grabbed the paper and looked for another occurrence to check out. He found one in a small town near Chicago. Dean said he'd drive because he didn't want Sam getting them lost. However Sam truly knew he just wanted Sam to get some rest on the trip up.

Sam soon fell asleep. He dreamt he was back in his house in Laurence. It was before the fire, when he was still a baby. It was weird because he was there as his 23 year old self, yet he wasn't actually there. It was like a re-enactment. He watched as his mother ran in to save him. He watched as she was killed. He watched as his father came into the room after his mother screamed. He watched as his father saw his mother and took Sam out of there as the fire started. It was just as Dean had told him. Then suddenly everything froze in place and Yellow-eyes materialized behind Sam. Sam spun around.

"Find anything interesting?" Yellow-eyes said.

"This is your doing?"

"I thought you were smarter than this. Of course it is my doing."

"Why?"

"To show you the pain you caused."

"That _I've_ caused?"

"Yes Sam, do you understand that without your birth none of this would have happened."

"You're lying."

"Am I?"

Sam is confused.

"Sam, have you thought about my request?"

"You know the answer." Sam said waking up suddenly.

Dean looked over confused, "Know what answer?"

Sam looked over at dean realizing he'd said the last thing out loud, "Nothing."

Dean looked aggravated but ignored it, "Fine freak. We're about an hour from Chicago and the town should be about ten minutes away. Why don't you whip out your computer and find us a hotel. I'm beat."

Sam nodded trying to focus on the task at hand.

--

When they reached the hotel room it was just after supper time. They booked in under fake names and got a room. Dean automatically sank down on the bed and fell asleep. _Wow he really was beat._ Sam wasn't really tired from his nap before so he flicked on the TV and started watching a brainless sitcom. When it was well past midnight Sam finally changed and crawled into bed. He had an uneasy time falling asleep.

Sam knew he was in dream world when he stepped into his apartment he had shared with Jessica. Except it was before the fire, everything was the way he remembered and the smell of cookies filled the air. He knew what came next and quickly walked to the bed room. He saw what he was hoping to never see again. Jess was on the roof and the flames suddenly bursting from behind her as he remembered. Then just like the last time everything froze again. Sam was prepared this time and spun around to find Yellow-eyes standing there.

"No small talk this time Sam. Are you going to answer me or not?"

"You know the answer!" Sam shouted waking up again.

Dean jumps out of bed, "What the hell Sam? What's with you?"

Sam is angry with himself, "I told you, nothing."

"Then why do you keep waking up saying 'You know the answer'?"

"It's nothing."

"Sam."

Sam gets up, he doesn't care he's not dressed, "I'm leaving." He grabs Dean's coat and heads outside knowing the impala's keys were in the pocket. Sam opens the door to the impala and gets in. _God, how stupid am I? I'm only wearing my boxers._ He expects Dean to come out right away seeing as Dean was fully dressed when he fell asleep.

Sam waits for ten minutes before deciding Dean wasn't coming. _Fine don't come. See what happens when you leave me un-attended._ Sam starts the impala and sees the door to their hotel room open and Dean stand there in disbelief. _So you thought I really wouldn't do it._ He speeds away until he comes across a clothing store. He pulls into the parking lot and turns the impala off. He doesn't want to go back to the hotel room and decides he can't keep driving around half naked. He gets out of the impala and walks up to the store. _See what happens, Dean, when you trust me? _

Sam unlocks the door with the lock pick in the trunk of the impala. He quickly dismantles the alarm and looks around. He notices it's not that big of a store but he finds what he needs: pants, socks, shoes, shirts, and a leather jacket. He thinks about leaving money on the counter but what good would that do? The money he used was stolen anyway. What was the difference? Sam resets the alarm and re-locks the doors.

He walks back to the impala, starts it, and throws Dean's coat in the back seat. He doesn't know where to go, but he knows where he doesn't want to go. Sam looks at the clock for the first time. It's five o'clock. Nothing will be open. He decides to drive till he finds something that's open. He doesn't have to drive long until he passes a liquor store. _I've already taken clothes. How much more would it matter if I took a case of beer?_

Sam parks the car in the parking lot again and walks up to the store. Looks around and finds the town is still deserted. Again he repeats the pattern of unlocking the door and disarming the alarm. He walks around the store until he finds a 24 pack of beer. He grabs that and starts to walk out when he spots vodka. He grabs two and walks back to the impala not bothering to lock up this time. He sets the booze in the backseat of the impala and starts it up again. He drives to a park and grabs the beer and vodka. He walks around the park till he finds a more secluded spot. He sits down against a tree and cracks open the first beer.

--

Sam has drunk the one of the vodka bottles and all of the beer by the time Dean finds him.

"Sam?" he says with confusion and hurt both evident in his voice.

"Dean? What do you want?"

"Sam it's seven in the morning and you're already drunk?"

"What are you talking about? I'm not drunk?"

"Alright, so you're not drunk at all." He says dripping with sarcasm, "Do you think we can go back to the hotel room to eat? Did you even have breakfast?"

"Why do you care?"

Dean doesn't answer and tries to pull Sam up from his position on the ground.

"Dean, I can walk." Sam says defensively.

Dean looks at him disapprovingly as Sam gets up and wobbles a bit, "Right and I'm the pope."

Sam frowns and takes a step almost losing his balance, but catches himself before he hits the ground. "I told you. I can do it."

Dean picks up the empty bottles and the full vodka bottle. Sam knows he's only doing it so there won't be prints left behind. "Now do you think you can remember where you parked the car?"

Sam doesn't say anything as he tries to remember exactly where he did park the impala.

--

Sam wakes up hours later with a head ache so bad he thought he was dead. He looks up and squints against the pain of the light coming through the curtains of the hotel room. Then his stomach does a flip flop. He races to the bathroom and throws up in the toilet. He hears the door open.

"Sam?"

Sam couldn't answer and just groaned suddenly having a strong felling of déjà vu.

Dean walks to the bathroom door and leaned against the doorframe. "You 'gonna tell me what that was all about?"

Sam didn't answer and just got up and tried to pass Dean in the door way.

"I'll take that as a no. I grabbed some food for you it's on the table. It's supper time by the way. You wasted the whole day. Also that gig you thought we should check out is a bust. You know if you'd stop to think we could be on a real case right now?"

"OK, OK, OK enough with the guilt trip."

"Good, now I'm 'gonna look for a real case. You stay and eat." And with that Dean turns around and walks back out the door.

Sam's head is still spinning but he can hear Dean speed out of the parking lot. Sam goes back to the bathroom grabs two Aspirin and heads back to the table to see what Dean decided to bring him. As Sam ate he felt awful. _How could I do all those things? What was I thinking? That's the thing though. I wasn't thinking. I let the feelings of rage and hate overtake me and drive my instincts. Speaking of those feelings, I don't feel them anymore. _Sam couldn't explain it. All he knew was he couldn't let it happen again.

--

By the time Dean comes back it's dark and Sam is grateful no light came in when Dean entered. However Dean was still mad and turns on the light as he comes into the room.

"I hate you." Sam said bitterly as the light still bothered him a little.

"Sam...What the hell was that about? And 'nothing' is not an answer."

"Dean. I...it's nothing."

"Damn it Sam! No it's not!" Dean shouted.

"You don't want to know."

"Sam you just got possessed by a demon. That has to mess with people's heads."

Suddenly Sam saw his way out. Dean sat down on the end of his bed. "Sam, what's really been going on?"

_I've been having nightmares, visits by the YED, and been having stronger feelings of rage and hate. _"I've been re-living my possession."

"Oh, OK. But that doesn't answer why you're waking up and saying 'you know the answer'?"

_Crap. _"When I was awake for parts of it, Meg somehow managed to speak to me. She kept asking me the same question over and over again." Sam fibbed.

"What question."

"It doesn't matter."

"Sam you don't have to go through this alone."

"Yes I do. You're not the one with the powers. I know how you look at me, like I'm some kind of freak."

"That's not-"

Sam is shouting now as he interrupts Dean, but he doesn't care. "You've never been possessed and you never will be, knowing what we know now. You're not the one the Yellow-eyed Demon is after. How could I not go through this alone? How could you know what I was going through to help me through this?" Dean is shocked. Sam looked over apologetically. "I'm sorry Dean. I just, I think it would be best if you left for a while, since you probably don't want me leaving."

Dean nods, "I'll come back in an hour."

Sam turned away from Dean as he grabs his keys and leaves the room. _I can't handle this. I need a drink._

**--**

**So that was the first chapter, finished it faster than I thought I would. Hope you enjoyed it! If you liked it or have a suggestion leave a review )**


	3. New Insight

This is my first fan fiction, hope you enjoy it

**This is my first fan fiction, hope you enjoy it!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except the plot of the story. All characters belong to the creators of Supernatural.**

**Warning: ****This is an AU which occurs after "Born Under a Bad Sign" episode 2.14 of Supernatural.**

_Italic - thoughts_, **Bold - author notes**

--

**Chapter 2: New Insight**

When Dean got back an hour later Sam hadn't found the left over booze because he figured Dean had gotten rid of it. He had managed to go to a liquor store to buy two more bottles of vodka, and they were both empty. "Hey Dean, join the party!" Sam said smiling like an idiot. "Here have a drink." He said offering Dean the vodka bottle. Dean took the bottle and turned it upside down. It was bone dry.

"Oops." He said almost losing balance. "Where are your keys?"

"Sam? What the hell! I was gone an hour, how did you manage to get hold of two more bottles of vodka? And more importantly, why would you do this again?"

"What do you mean?" Sam said suddenly clinging on to the front of Dean's jacket to stay upright.

"What do I mean? Dude you're drunk, again. What was it that that bitch kept asking you?"

Sam started to laugh, "Dean, Meg never asked me anything."

Now Dean looked really confused, "What? But you told me-"

"Oh, yeah, about that...I lied. I couldn't tell you the truth. You'd get mad." He confessed cutting Dean off.

"What? Sam, this isn't you. What happened?"

Sam let go of Dean's jacket and stumbled over to the nearest bed. "Night Dean."

"Sam don't you dare go to sleep on me." But by the time Dean had reached Sam he was already out cold and not having the heart to wake him up Dean lets him stay in dream land.

--

This time Sam wasn't so lucky to have a dreamless sleep. He knew he was dreaming because for one he was back in the hospital after the crash and he didn't have any indication he'd just finished off three bottles of vodka and a case of beer by himself. Sam looked around and noticed he was in the main lobby, holding a cup of coffee. _No, not this again. _Sam raced down the corridors spilling the coffee everywhere 'till he came to his father's room. He looked in and found his father still alive and a little startled.

"Sam?" John said. Sam noticed he was crying.

"Dad?"

"Sam…Dean's gone, dead, passed on. They said it was like he just gave up fighting."

Sam was stunned. This wasn't how it was supposed to happen. Dean couldn't have died. Sam watched as John started to walk over to him, his arms rose as if he was going to hug Sam. Then he froze, just like the dreams before this.

"Is this really what you wanted to happen?"

Sam ground his teeth knowing Yellow-eyes had once again just appeared behind him, "Why won't you leave me alone?"

"Sam, I'm showing you your past. Don't you see?"

"See what?" Sam replied refusing to turn and face Yellow-eyes.

"Maybe you aren't smarter than I gave you credit for?" Sam could just imagine the smile spreading across Yellow-eyes' face as he talked.

"Can I wake up now?"

"It's your dream."

The scene before him faded and it was replaced by a family gathering. Sam was dressed in a suit and Jessica sat next to him, "Jess?"

"Yeah."

"What's going on?"

Jess looked scared, "We're having dinner at you're parent's house."

"My parents?" Sam looked around and saw his parents at the head of the table. He didn't understand, but then something caught his eye. Dean and Lisa were sitting across from him. "Dean?" he said amazed, but before Sam could comprehend anything else a little blonde girl ran up him.

"Daddy Ben just called me a sissy 'cause I didn't wanna eat dirt. I didn't believe him when he said I would be prettier if I ate dirt. It's not true right Daddy?"

Sam looked up at Jess. He was at a loss for words.

"No sweetie, it's not true." Jess said, "Now why don't you go play with your younger sister."

"OK Mommy."

As soon as she left the room Jess rounded on Dean, "Dean would you please stop filling Ben's head with ridiculous stories?"

Dean started to speak, but Sam couldn't make out the words as time seemed to slow.

"Is this what you wished you had?" Yellow-eyes said materializing behind Dean, "A happy life with your whole family?"

"Why are you doing this to me?"

"I'm not doing this Sam, well the stopping of time is my doing, but I'm merely along for the ride."

"You said you were showing me my past."

"But this isn't the past, this is all _your_ doing. I told you it was your dream. Your powers are stronger than you think. You're not in control of them. I've told you before, you need training. Let me train you and you could have all of this."

"And I've told you before, you know the answer." The scene faded away and Sam knew he'd just woken up again as the pain of getting drunk twice in one day came back.

"Welcome back, sleeping beauty." Dean said smartly, clearly ignoring the fact Sam had woken up saying the same thing again.

Sam sat up and looked around. Dean was sitting at the table with a lamp on, it was dark out again or still. Sam didn't know which, but it looked like Dean was doing research on Sam's laptop.

"Dean I've told you. Don't touch my stuff." Sam said trying to get up and get his laptop. However his whole body screamed in protest and he sat back down. "How long was I out?"

"You said you had lied, and that the truth would make me mad. Well I'm already mad, so tell away." Dean said ignoring Sam's question.

"I was drunk."

"Yeah and that seems to be the only time you'll tell me what's going on."

"Dean, don't."

"Here, drink this then." Dean said hold up what looked like more vodka.

"Seriously?"

"It's the only way you'll talk so let's get you liquored up."

"You can't make me."

"Damn it Sam! You're acting like a six year old. Just tell me what's going on, and don't give that crap about that bitch, Meg."

"Fine," Sam said defeated.

Dean looks stunned, "Really you'll tell me?"

"If you want to know that bad. You want to know why I've been waking up and saying 'you know the answer'? I've been dreaming about Jess,-"

"Jess, I thought we were over that" Dean accused cutting him off.

Sam nodded, "And Mom and Dad."

"But how does that explain the whole phrase thing?"

"Well," _Think fast Sam,_ "Every time I re-live through the ordeal I hear their voices saying 'Why didn't you save us?'"

"Bullshit Sam, I'm supposed to believe that?"

"It's the truth."

"No it's not!"

"Dean-"

"Shut up Sam! Now we're going to go to go to a town not far from here. I think there's a job there. The paper said there was an incident where a reported priest tried to kill someone because he claimed his deceased wife told him the victim was the root of sin. I know dingo ate my baby crazy, but anyway they locked him up in the loony bin. I say let's forget this whole thing and hunt down some evil sons of a bitches."

"Sure."

"Now I know you've played sleeping beauty and slept all day but I need to rest. So promise me you'll stay away from the vodka and stay here."

"Jerk." Sam said smiling.

"Bitch." Dean replied returning the smile with one of his own.

--

Sam was, just as Dean predicted, wide awake. He was completely bored within two hours. He decided he really didn't want to fall asleep again so he decided to try and make sense of what Dean had dug up about the article of the suddenly violent priest.

--

When Dean woke Sam had managed to read everything there was to before really knowing what they were dealing with.

"Sleep much?" Dean said still half-asleep.

"Ha-ha, very funny. I'm coffeed up. I say we head out."

"Sounds good, let me grab a shower and some coffee." Dean said standing up and making his way to the bathroom. "Wait, you didn't sleep at all last night?"

"Nope, not a wink."

"No freaky dreams?"

"No freaky dreams." _For now,_ Sam thought to himself.

--

They arrived around lunch and booked into another hotel room. Sam knew if he fell asleep he would dream again so he plugged as much coffee into himself as he possibly could. He tried to stay focused on the job at hand, but Dean had it well covered. It was a basic haunting, and they headed back to the hotel room around supper time.

"Dean I'm gonna go grab us some burgers or something from one of the fast food places. I'll be back." Sam said has he grabbed the keys to the impala Dean had just set down.

"Wait you're not going anywhere. I'll grab the burgers, you just stay here."

"Dean, you're going to have to trust me some day."

Dean didn't say anything for a while, but finally answered, "Fine, but grab me some pie. Love me some pie."

Sam smiled. He hoped life was finally going back to normal. He made it back soon with the burgers, and Dean's pie. _There see Dean, I can control myself._ But deep down Sam knew the feelings were re-building themselves, waiting to be unleashed again.

--

That night Sam could feel the rage and hatred start to resurface, they came back faster than he had thought possible. Except this time it was different, this time he started envisioning what he could do, what he wanted to do. He tried to shrug it off but knew it wouldn't help. He went to bed that night hoping against all odds he would get one night of rest.

Sam found himself in the same park he was in when Yellow-eyes had actually approached him. He found himself suddenly walking towards the spot where Yellow-eyes had disappeared.

"Behind you."

Sam spun around to see Yellow-eyes leaning against a tree. "What do you want this time?"

"Sam you need to understand your life isn't going to be anything near what you call 'normal'. You need to accept it will always be filled with pain and suffering."

"Oh, I know it will be, as long as you live."

"Do you really think your suffering will come to pass if you get rid of me?"

"Oh I know it will be far from over, but at least it would stop you from ruining others lives."

"I ruined your life? Sam is that really what you think happened?"

"You killed them; Jess, Mom, Dad."

"Alright I'll admit I killed Jess just because she was in the way. I needed you out on the road. Your survival depended on it. But as for your mother and father, well you know your father made a deal with me to save Dean. However I'm surprised you don't know what deal your mother made."

"My mother never made any deal."

"Sam your course was set long before you were born. Why do you think everyone your mother knew died?"

"You're lying again."

"No Sam I want you to understand your destiny."

"The destiny you've set up for me."

Yellow-eyes smiled, "Sam the answer lies in your blood."

Sam suddenly woke up completely grateful he didn't wake up shouting again. He rolled over and discovered he'd managed to sleep longer this time it was only five in the morning. Sam couldn't help but think about what Yellow-eyes had said. _What does 'the answer lies in your blood' mean? What am I supposed to be looking for?_ Sam grabbed his laptop and started making a list of everyone his mother knew in the past ten years before she died, hoping to phone them up and get answers because if she had made a deal it would have come due ten years later.

--

It was hard work but Sam enjoyed it and by the time Sam finished the list it was surprisingly short. He had managed to discover there were only thirty to forty people who knew is mother ten years before she died. Sam saved the list and closed his computer looking at the time. It was six o'clock and Dean would be waking up soon. Sam decided to jump in the shower and try to act as if he'd just woken up himself.

--

Dean woke up and told Sam to do some last minute fact checking before they wasted the bastard that night. Sam did as he was told and when Dean came out of the shower he had managed to confirm the identity of the spirit but couldn't get a clear location on the grave site.

"Well let's grab some breakfast and then head to the library to check it out."

_If only it was always as easy as it sounds._ Sam grabbed his jacket and followed Dean out to the impala.

--

By the time they got back to the hotel room that night it was almost sun rise. They had managed to get rid of the ghost. Dean walked into the room and headed straight for the shower. He had managed to trip and fall in a huge mud pile due to the rain that suddenly decided to pour while they were trying to burn the corpse. It was never as easy as it sounded.

Sam changed for bed, having previously decided to only pretend to fall asleep till Dean was out cold because he didn't want to have to admit to the dreams if Dean found out what he was doing. Then he could look up more on demon deals, and if it was possible both of his parents made a deal with the same demon.

Sam lied as still as he could until Dean fell asleep. Sam didn't have to wait long before he heard the familiar sounds of Dean's snoring. Sam got up and grabbed is father's journal. He knew there probably wouldn't be anything in there he didn't already know but he wanted to be positive. Sam leafed through the entire journal, but found nothing new or anything to help him figure out what Yellow-eyes meant. Dean woke up around six o'clock that morning, _always on schedule._

"Sam? When'd you wake up? Those dreams come back?"

"Did you hear me wake up yelling?"

"No."

"Then no, the dreams didn't comeback."

"Ok, find anything new?"

"No but I was thinking we could just spend the day here. I mean we got till tomorrow morning to check out of the room."

"Sounds good, I'm gonna jump in the shower and head out for breakfast. You coming?"

"No, I think I'll stay here. Veg out, watch some TV or something."

"Suit yourself."

--

Dean had left the hotel room within the hour and Sam pulled up the list of people who knew his mother. Sam started dialling the phone numbers, pretending to be whatever he needed to be, to obtain the information. Soon enough Sam discovers everyone his mother came into contact with during her pregnancy with him all died. All from various causes but they're all definitely dead. It was about lunch and Dean still hadn't come back. _Well I'm starved, and since Dean hasn't shown up in hours I think it's safe to say he won't be back till morning, probably held up somewhere with a girl. _Sam grabs his jacket and walks out of the hotel room. He takes a right and starts to walk. _I have to come across a food place sooner or later._

--

Just as Sam predicted Dean still hadn't shown up by night fall. Sam got ready for bed and quickly fell asleep. He soon finds himself in his dream world and waits for yellow-eyes to show up, it doesn't take long.

"Sam, Why, I didn't know you cared."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"You took what I said to heart and discovered the deaths caused by your mother."

"You did it didn't you. Everyone she knew during her pregnancy with me, they all died. From what I could gather they all died before I was born, but they all died one way or another. I just want to know why."

"Sam you're not ready to know the truth if you can't figure it out yourself."

Sam walked over to Yellow-eyes and grabs the front of his jacket, "Now I know I can't hurt you in here, but I can sure the hell try if you don't tell me what you want."

"Getting braver I see. Good, channel that energy, use it."

"No, I won't be manipulated. You can't harm me in here, and if I want you to leave all I have to do is think it."

"I don't think so. This may be your dream world but I still rule it while you allow yourself to ignore your powers. Remember Sam, the answer lies in your blood."

"No!" Sam woke up screaming again. _Damn it. I have to stop this. I'm playing right into his hands. Thank god Dean's not here right now. I don't think I could handle him trying to figure out the truth. He's safer in the dark, and I'm safer in the darkness._

--

**Yay second chapter finished. If you liked it or have a suggestion leave a review :-)**


	4. Avoidance

**--November 19th 2008--**

**OK, for anyone who has waited all these months I am so thankful for it all! I'm SO SO SO sorry it took me so long to get another chapter out. Three months is WAY too long. If any of you are wondering why it took me so long the reason is my other fic "Bonds Broken" I was completely absorbed in it and just couldn't focus on anything else. Anyway I've decided I will try and write both (as well as another new story) all at the same time. *crosses fingers and hopes it doesn't all blow up in my face***

**Thanks again for all your support and patient waiting! I swear it will not take me three months to update again!**

**-Tasha**

**--**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except the plot of the story. All characters belong to the creators of Supernatural.**

_Italic - thoughts_, **Bold - author notes**

--

**Chapter 3: Avoidance**

Sam was wide awake when Dean tried to come through the door quietly at 8am.

"And where've you been?" Sam questioned.

"No where, mother." Dean replied ignoring him and starting to collect his crap all over the place.

"Fine, but I was reading the paper this morning. I think there's another possible case in New York."

"New York? Sweet, what's it about?"

"So they've had three deaths in the past month, all girls the same age, all in the same area as well. They even all started acting and saying the same things before they ended their lives by jumping off a building. I thought it was worth checking out."

"Sounds good, grab your crap and let's hit the road."

--

They arrived later that day and started their investigation canvassing as detectives.

"Dean, I've been thinking." Sam said as they walked down a sidewalk outside the first victim's house.

Dean smiles, "Have to have a brain first there, Sammy."

Sam frowns at the comment; _I'll just ignore that one._ "Instead of always having to wear these charms, why don't we just get tattoos? Wouldn't that work just as well?"

"Maybe, we'll call Bobby later and run it by him."

"Kay, you got the EMF Reader?"

"Yeah," Dean replied ringing the door bell of the first victim's house.

--

When they got back from investigating they were thoroughly confused.

"Sam I don't think this is a real gig. I mean sure the kids acted the same before their deaths and all died the same way, but nothing and I mean nothing showed up on EMF and there was no sulphur, no anything."

"I know, I just feel like there's something we're missing. We'll get some sleep and check out the places the girls hung out in the morning."

"Dude, it's not even supper yet."

"So."

Dean smiled, "Well, sorry to disappoint you Sammy but I'm not tired. So you're going to have to surf the web for porn later."

"Shut up." Sam said bitterly as he grabbed the keys to Impala and headed out the door.

--

Later that night, as soon as Dean fell asleep, Sam crawled out of bed, got re-dressed, grabbed his laptop, and headed out for some coffee. _If I don't sleep he can't get you me on his grounds. He'll have to confront me personally. _Sam walked downtown and quickly found an open café which served coffee, _this city truly never sleeps_. Ordering an extra large, Sam opened his laptop and took advantage of the café's wireless internet access. He opened up a new window to look over the news articles. _I know I'm missing something_. The page loads and a headline catches his eyes before he types in the search.

_THREE SUICIDES LINKED TOGETHER_

He clicks on the link and it leads him to some gossip webpage.

_As previously reported, Vanessa Redding, Amanda Livingstone, and Elena Garth, committed suicide this past month, and no leads were ever found for the investigation. The police were working around the clock on the case…_

Sam skipped over the article until he found what he wanted.

_We have learned that new information about the girl's previous activities has been learned. All three girls were part of some club called LLW (Lucifer's Lethal Women), dumb name we know, but…_

Sam stopped reading knowing if the site already had the story it was probably from an unreliable source; _looks like we have to question the club owner._ Sam closed his laptop, collects his stuff, and quickly walks out of the café, back to his hotel room to wake Dean up so they could do a little B&E.

--

Sam and Dean had gone to the club and discovered that there were traces of sulphur. They'd left, done their research, found out the owner had moved into the area about a month ago, and that there was no previous record of him. The figured he was a demon, grabbed their gear and headed back to the club just as it was closing. They bided their time, got the owner alone, and exercised him. The job hadn't taken long and they were done just before sunrise.

Dean walked into the room and threw his coat over a chair. He sat down and started to rub his head. "I'm so tired, why can't we ever sleep during the night?"

Sam didn't reply and took off his shoes and coat, then fell straight into bed, not bothering to pull the covers down, he just need to be able to concentrate on a few hours of sleep without the interference of Yellow-eyes. He was sure if he just concentrated, he could control his dream this time and he really needed the sleep.

"We'll catch a few hours of sleep then head out for the next gig." Dean said yawning as he too got into bed.

Sam soon found himself in the familiar setting of the park. He lied down and closed his eyes concentrating as hard as he could on keeping Yellow-eyes away. It had seemed like an eternity when suddenly a cold draft soon appeared but somehow it was comforting even though it chilled him to the bone. He soon became relaxed and wished he could fall asleep in his own dream world.

"Enjoying the peace?" A voice suddenly said.

Sam sat up and looked around only to discover he had woken up.

"Dude you were out a while, it's almost lunch." Dean said looking over from the TV and holding a burrito in one hand, "Your laptop stopped working by the way."

"You used my laptop?" Sam said alarmed, getting up and grabbing his laptop, "Dean, it's sticky. I thought I told you to stay away from my stuff."

"I didn't eat over it, I swear."

"Dean-"

"I'm going to stretch my legs," Dean replied and quickly grabbed his coat and walked out the door, "See ya."

--

Sam heard the familiar sounds of the Impala a couple hours later.

"Sam?" Dean questioned as he slowly opened the door. Sam didn't answer so Dean quietly closed the door behind him. He walked around the corner and found Sam sitting with his lap top and pages spread everywhere.

Sam looked up and Dean stopped. "I'm not going to bite you. You just popped out the battery, somehow."

Dean smiled, "Good, thought I'd be in for it."

_I never said you weren't. I'm just saving my revenge for later, something big._ "I found a few leads on a new gig, but nothing major. I say we check these leads out, pick one, and then head out tomorrow morning."

Dean frowned, "That means we have to do research."

"Yup," Sam replied smiling.

Dean looked disappointed, "Perfect." Sam couldn't help but laugh at his brother.

--

They finished their research and found a job in some town a few hours from New York. Their decision made, they relaxed in their room and caught some re-run of a game on TV.

"Dean, you remember how you said we would call Bobby about the tattoos?" Sam questioned.

Dean looked away from the TV screen, "Yeah, what about it?"

"Well it's just after supper, but he's probably not busy."

"We'll call him up now, then," Dean smiles, "since you're so egger to."

Sam rolled his eyes, "Just dial."

Dean keeps smiling, but does as Sam says and dials Bobby's number. "Hello Bobby? Hey it's Dean. Listen we were wondering about those charms you gave us." Dean paused, "No we didn't lose them."

Sam couldn't help but laugh at Bobby's first accusation. However he quickly stopped when Dean punched him in the arm. "Jerk." He said through clenched teeth.

"Bitch," Dean mouthed back as he continued talking to Bobby, "yeah well the charms are a little of a pain in the ass to keep track of and we were thinking tattoos would be easier." Dean waited to hear Bobby's answer, "Alright thanks Bobby, we'll drop in next time we're close enough." He said hanging up.

"So?" Sam asked impatient.

Dean stood up, "Score one for college boy. Bobby says that it's a good idea."

"Should we go now?" Sam replied standing up as well.

"We got nothing else to do." Dean stated simply as he grabbed the keys to the Impala.

--

It was a couple hours later when they returned to their hotel room. "Well that was as fun as getting kicked in the balls." Dean muttered shutting their hotel door behind them.

Sam smiled at his brother's comment, "Do you think Dad ever knew about the symbols on the charms?"

"Well they fend of demonic possession and he was the best."

"He was the best?" Sam challenged, he could feel his rage bubble up in him.

Dean looked irritated, "Are you still holding on to that insane resentment you have towards him for forcing you into a life you obviously hate."

"I never said that."

"You didn't have to."

"I never said anything Dean. So don't give me the whole 'dad did the best he could' speech."

"He did do the best he could."

"He couldn't save mom, he was probably there when Jess was killed. He even sold his soul to the yellow-eyed son of a bitch who destroyed out our lives! Don't tell me he did the best he could!" Sam shouted at Dean, his rage no longer in check.

Sam can see the fire in Dean's eyes as he slams him up against their hotel wall. "You don't think I know that Sam!"

"He destroyed any chance we had at a normal life." Sam retorted pushing Dean off of him.

"Then why'd you ever come back to look for him? Huh? Why were you so torn up when he died?"

"I was just sorry I didn't get there first." Sam growled through his teeth.

Before Sam knew what happened, Dean punched him and he had countered by pulling his gun from the waistband of his jeans, cocking it, and placing the end of it under Dean's chin. Suddenly Sam realizes what he's doing and stops.

Dean shoves him off, but doesn't say anything. He just grabs his keys and leaves. Sam can't react. He just stares at the door until he hears the Impala rev up and drive away. The look of hurt on Dean's face pained Sam to his very core but at the same time he can't help but like it.

_What's happening to me? I need to get out of here._ His mind made up he exits the hotel room and walks down the street heading in the opposite direct he heard the Dean drive away.

--

**TBC…**


	5. Deeds Done

**--January 15th 2009--**

**Sorry for the long break and a short chapter but I'm doing exams and I'm actually impressed I managed to even get this done :D So here's another chapter! Enjoy!**

--

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except the plot of the story. All characters belong to the creators of Supernatural.**

_Italic - thoughts_, **Bold - author notes**

--

**Chapter 4: Deeds Done**

Sam didn't walk long before he came across a club. Entering the club he made his way to the bar. He quickly orders shots of whiskey and tequila and downs each of them. The all too familiar buzz from alcohol soon starts to appear and replace the burning desire of his urges.

He orders another round of shots, again downing each of the shots when they arrive. Looking around the bar he notices a pretty girl with blonde hair a few tables away from the bar. She's sitting with her friends but she can't stop looking at him. He smiles at her and orders himself a beer.

Sam's still sitting on the same bar stool and his beer is half gone when he feels a tap on his arm. He looks over to find the blonde who was watching him before. "Hi," she says with a huge smile on her face. For the first time Sam takes in her appearance. Even though it was unusually warm this time of year the girl still isn't wasn't wearing much of anything. She had healed, black leather boots, a short denim shorts, and a black tank top that practically covered just as much as the bra she was wearing underneath it.

"Hi," Sam says back, clearly uninterested.

"I'm Tish," she continues. Sam's surprised at her tone. It seems sharper, more determined than when she first introduced herself and it spikes his interest.

"Sam," he says back.

She smiles as she notices his tone of voice change, "Are you here by yourself?"

Sam smirks, "As a matter of fact I am." But he could tell by the way she'd been watching him she already knew that.

"Want to dance?" She says, almost commanding.

"Sure," Sam answers as he pays for his drinks and follows her to the dance floor where some song is playing but all you can hear is the base. She grabs both of his hands and guides him to middle of the dance floor. She proceeds to dance by herself, teasing him, moving her body expertly. He smirks again as he grabs her arm and pulls her closer to him, leaving a mere inch between them. He runs a hand down her back, enjoying the shiver he receives from her. She turns around, her back against his front. The music is infectious and they're getting high off of each other's presence as they continue to grind to the beat.

--

Sam slowly opened his eyes. He felt stiff and had a killer headache. He rolled over and looked at the blonde sleeping beside him; he didn't remember her name anymore. He didn't remember much from last night but he remembered leaving the club and getting a room at this crappy hotel they were at. He slowly slipped out of bed and put back on his clothing. He was just putting on his jacket when the girl rolls over and sees him. "Hey," she says still half asleep.

"Hey," he replies dully.

"What time is it?" she says as she sits up, clutching the sheet to her chest and ruffling her hair.

Sam sits down on the bed and starts to pull on his shoes, "It's only 7:30."

"Oh god," the girl says flopping back down on the bed, "I thought you were a tourist."

"No, I had a job here."

"So you'll call me?" she says questioningly.

Sam finishes tying his shoes and looks at her. "Probably not," he says a littler blunter than he intended.

"Oh," the girl says looking crushed. He smiles. He likes the pain he's caused. _What is wrong with me?_ He thinks before quickly banishing the satisfaction from his mind. "I'll be at the club again tonight, just in case you're wondering." She continues; desperation evident in her voice.

_Where did that confident and demanding girl go from last night? The only reason I even took an interest in you? You were different but now you're just another girl._ Sam smiles at the position she's put herself into as he stands up. He just nods in acknowledgement but he knows he won't go even if he and Dean are still in town.

When Sam exits the room and looks around the light is blinding, and totally not helping his headache, so he pulls out his sunglasses and puts them on. It's been about ten minutes when Sam walks through the door of the motel room and spots Dean pacing.

Sam closes the door and sits down on the nearest chair, watching, as his brother stopped pacing and look at him. He couldn't make out what Dean was feeling. It looked like he was relieved Sam was OK and really pissed Sam had just taken off and not called.

"Why weren't you answering your phone?" Dean starts.

"It died." He replies simply giving his brother a look of idiocy.

Dean's expression didn't change, "So why didn't you just come back?"

Sam was beginning to lose interest in what his brother was saying, "I was…out."

"Out?" Now Dean looked really pissed. "What the fuck is that supposed to mean, Sam!"

"I don't have to explain myself to you, Dean!" Sam shouted at him, getting up off the chair and invading Dean's personal space. "What I do is my business, but for your information I met a girl. We spent the night together. What's it to you?"

Sam watched as his brother's eyes soften as he backs away and nods. Sam smiles; he's tired of suppressing the satisfaction he gets from other's pain. He's high off the power he feels from it and he isn't going to deny it any longer. "What do you have on the case?" He questioned as he brushed past Dean and started to pack up his belongings.

Sam could hear Dean try to calm himself, "Well while you were _out_," he also noticed the emphasis Dean put on the last word, "I did some more research on our job. So as you know this town has begun to be terrorized by strange events: numerous suicides, lots of stealing, lots of chaos." Sam nodded as he continued to listen to Dean and pack his belongings. "I couldn't dig anything ups but I'm thinking we've got a group of demons stirring up some trouble."

Sam zipped up the bag he was packing and slung it over his shoulder, "so let's go kill the evil sons of bitches." He said smiling.

Dean smiled back but Sam saw that it didn't reach his eyes. "Sounds good," he replied grabbing Sam's other bag and heading out the door. Sam stared after his brother. Dean wouldn't normally help Sam out with his crap. He knew he was only helping now because Dean needed to do something to feel like he was helping his baby brother.

_If only you truly knew how much your baby brother needs your help,_ Sam thinks as he smirks darkly and follows Dean to the Impala.

--

**TBC…**


	6. Confusion

**--January 24****th**** 2009--**

**Here's another chapter! Enjoy! Thanks for the continued reviews! *hugs***

--

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except the plot of the story. All characters belong to the creators of Supernatural.**

_Italic - thoughts_, **Bold - author notes**

--

**Chapter 5: Confusion**

They had arrived at the town by 11:00 am. On the drive in Sam had sat in the passenger seat with his sunglass on. He had practically swallowed an entire bottle of painkillers but his headache was still dully throbbing at the back of his head.

Whenever he chose to glance over at Dean he noticed his white knuckled fingers gripping the steering wheel and the look of deep thought and uneasiness on his brother's face. The lack of singing along to his good ol' mullet rock was also strange.

Sam didn't care though. It was strange, ever since he pulled the gun out on Dean he felt as if his brotherly bond had loosened. He had looked up to Dean since he was four. He used to study him and want to be just like his big brother, hell he felt that way even just last week, but now…it was different.

--

Sam was sitting at a coffee bar taking advantage of the wireless internet connection. Dean was off canvassing the town for unusual activity and getting the citizen's firsthand accounts of the events taking place in their little town. Sam should be doing the same but he's more interested in looking into the deaths of his mother's friends.

Sam pulled up the locked files on his laptop. He looked over the notes he made about his dreams with Yellow-Eyes, the friends of his mother who had died and who was still alive, and the conversations he had had with each of the contacts he called to acquire the list of friends.

Sam stared at the list of his mother's friends who died and those who were still alive. They were numerous nationalities, ages, and genders. He couldn't figure out why those who were still close to his mother when she was pregnant with him were dead and those who were had little or no contact with her were still alive.

The list of those who died consisted of the family doctor, close friends at church, her book club, and a few other close friends. The list of those left alive was bigger. It consisted of those who had known Mary but had lost touch for one reason or another.

Their family doctor, who was taking care of Mary's pregnancy at the time, died of a heart attack but she was only in her early forties. Sam did some found the clinics site and stared hacking. He managed to bring up the clinic's online file records but when he did a search there was nothing farther back than 1997. Figuring it makes sense that the cases older than ten years were filed in a paper trail Sam locates the contact number and dials it. It rings once before an automated message answers. He follows the directions and patches himself through to the main reception.

"Westland Clinic, Tracy speaking," a woman says.

"Hi there, I'm agent Jerry Kaplan and I was wondering if you could put me through to the head of your catalogued cases." Sam says.

"I'm sorry sir but we cannot allow to access to the files without first confirming your badge number."

"I understand." He answers and is about to suggest that he come down in person so he can have access to the files when the woman talks again.

"However, if you just give us your badge number can run it through our system here." She says.

Sam is a little confused that they have access to a police database and can confirm badge numbers over the phone, "Um, OK" he answers as he flips through his wallet to pull out his fake FBI badge. "The number is 36D." He can hear the girl type the number in.

"Thank you Mr. Kaplan, I'll patch you through now." The girl answers before he hears the phone ring once and another woman answers.

"Hi there, I was wondering if you could locate a patient's file for me. I'm looking for Mary Winchester's file." Sam says bemused by the simplicity of his mission.

"Sure let me just type the name into the database and I'll locate the file."

"Thanks," he says as he waits for the results.

Not ten seconds later does the woman answer, "I'm sorry sir but we no longer have the file you requested."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sorry sir. All I can tell you is that all traces of it were handed over to the patient at her request."

"Alright, thank you for your time." Sam says frustrated as he hangs up the phone. _Now what?_ He thinks as he tries to formulate a new plan of figuring out why so many of his mother's friends died and she would cover her tracks. _Since I've hit a dead end I guess I'll canvas the town like I should be doing._ Sam decides, collects his stuff, and heads out of the coffee bar.

--

Sam walked into their motel room and found Dean on his cell phone. Sam didn't know who it was but the minute Dean saw him there he quickly said good-bye to whoever it was. "Who was that?" Sam asks, curiosity getting the best of him.

"No one," Dean replies. Sam knows he's lying. "Want to go get something to eat?" Dean asks, changing the subject.

Sam shrugs, "Sure. I could eat." Dean nods and quickly passes Sam and heads out the door. Sam can't help but notice how Dean practically inched along the walls to stay as far away from him as possible. He knows it's a delayed reaction to his actions last night. Now that Dean knows Sam is OK and is safely under his watch he can simply allow himself to feel the fear of what he sees Sam going through.

--

It was early when Sam woke up. The sun was just coming up and casting a soft glow through the curtains of their motel room. He hadn't dreamt of Yellow-eyes that night. It was the first time he'd had a true dream in, well he wasn't exactly sure.

Though he was thankful to go back to actual dreams he was still tormented. He couldn't get the image of the girl from the last town out of his mind. He'd dreamt he'd done terrible things to her. He'd killed her in practically every way he knew of before he woke up, and each time he enjoyed it.

Sam tried to catch his breath as he stared at the ceiling. He could feel the sweat on his skin as he ran his hand through his hair and sat up. He needed to…he didn't know what he needed.

Pushing back the covers he swung his legs over the side and rested his head in his hands. He felt different. He felt like he him. _No not me, the old me._ He thought as he shook his head and stood up. He was only wearing a thread bare pair of light gray sweats but he chill of the air was soothing.

He walked over to his duffel bag and dug to the very bottom of it. When he felt the cool glass he smiled and pulled out a bottle of whiskey. Quickly unscrewing the top and taking a big swig of it he sits down against the wall. Sam takes another swig before closing his eyes and resting his head against the wall.

Suddenly Dean stirs in his sleep and Sam's eyes snap open. He watches the dark figure of his brother roll over and settle back into a deep sleep. Sam goes to get up when he notices the flashing light of Dean's cell phone plugged into the wall, charging.

He can't help it. He has to know who Dean is so desperate to talk to but doesn't want him to know about. Sam quietly walks over to his brother's phone and slides it open. Opening up the recently dialled phone numbers list he sees Bobby's number at the top.

_Why is Dean calling Bobby and not wanting me to know?_ Sam has always trusted his brother. He knows he keeps secrets from him. Hell, Dean just spilled a huge secret a little while ago but he could never stop trusting Dean. _Could Dean be holding on to another secret?_

Unable to figure out the answer to his question by staring at Dean's phone he closes it and puts it back the way he found it. Walking quietly back over to his bed he sits down, looking at the sleeping form of his brother.

Dean's sleeping on his stomach. His mouth is gaping open and his hair is messed but there's an innocence about him that he never has when he's awake. Sam can't help but smile. "Looks like we are both hiding things from each other," He whispers. He feels tears start to come to the corners of his eyes, "I wish I could tell you everything Dean. You know I do but I can't. I can't add to the weight already on your shoulders. I'm sorry this is my fault." He continues as a tear quietly slips down his cheek. Sam wipes his face, takes one last look at his brother then lays back down to catch a few more hours of sleep before Dean wakes him up with stomping around the room as he looks for his clothes.

--

Dean was asleep when he slowly comes to consciousness. He could hear someone's voice. Sam's voice, he quickly realizes and his hunter instincts kick in. He fights to stay in the same position he's in.

He hears Sam's whispered apologies and knows he's crying. It takes all his will power not to jump up and wrap his arms around his brother but he's too afraid of what Sam will do if he knew Dean was awake and only pretending to be sleeping.

So instead he lays motionless as he hears his brother tuck his self back into the bed next to him. Even though they're a mere three feet from each other Dean has never felt farther away from his brother than now, not even when Sam ran away to Stanford, and he knows it's his fault.

--

**TBC…**


	7. Updates To Come

--February 11th 2009--

Hey everyone so I posting this to let you all know I am NOT abandoning the story. My life has just become crazy super busy and my muse has totally deserted me so inspiration is slow.

I will hopefully update within the next month. Yes I know that's a long time but it's the best I can do at this point.

Thank you SO much for being patient with me.

Tasha.


End file.
